Comments made by teachers on their students' report cards:
1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock-bottom and has started to dig.
2. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
3. Your son sets low personal standards, and consistently fails to achieve them
4. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell
5. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
6. It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others
7. The wheel is turning but the hamster's dead
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